Having a two year old and a newborn at home has been an adjustment for my husband and I. We also both work full time and I am going to school. With all of the craziness there has been many arguments and disagreements. Especially when it comes to our two year old son. He has been throwing fits and testing both of us on a daily basis. My husband is a wonderful father and is great with the kids, but he has been having a difficult time dealing with our son and will lose patience very fast. When I try to give him suggestions or help, he gets more upset because he feels that I think he can't take care of it himself.
I have been trying to use the cooperative strategies from our text this week. The first one to focus on the issue and not be verbally aggressive. I choose my words carefully and try not to say "You should not do that" or "Do it this way". Instead I try to say, "Maybe he would like...". Another strategy I use is to reassure my partner. I remind my husband that our son's fits are often not a direct result of something he did and that he is learning how to control his emotions. I also remind him that he is a wonderful father and this is a stage we just have to get through, it will pass. (And lead to another challenging stage, but I don't mention that to him now.) :)
Effective communication is such an important part of life. It impacts every relationship, personal or professional. I am so glad I have this class as a reminder of the proper and effective ways to communicate.
I find the challenge to be when we are in the moment, it is easy to read what we need or should stive for but at times when the emotions of the moment get in the way all we can do is reflect on it and work toward change. Great post you should be proud of yourself, you are in a challenging position raising a young family, full- time work, and school. Koodos to you!
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful that you are learning and using the gained knowledge with your husband on this issue. I wish I had taken a claas like this when my children were young it would have helped me lot in how to communicate with them and my then husband as my patience and communniation skills back then( they are all adults now the youngest is a son who is 27)was not as it is today.
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