I always try to be conscious of what I am saying and how it comes across especially during conversations with colleagues and parents of my students. During the past few weeks this course has reminded me of the importance of successful and meaningful communication in our daily lives and ways I can improve my communication skills.
I enjoyed taking the communication assessments this week and having people who are close to me evaluate me also. The two people I chose were my mother and husband. My mother really only knows me as a communicator in my personal life. My husband knows me as a communicator in both my personal and professional life. We worked at the same school for three years. He knew me professionally for a year before he knew me personally.
The results from the Listening Styles Profile were not a surprise to me at all. All three of us scored me in Group 1: People – Oriented. I have always been drawn to people and very social. My mother has seen that from the time I was little until now. My husband has seen me interact with people professionally and casually and said he knew from the first day he saw me at school that I was a people person.
The results from the Communication Anxiety Inventory were a little surprising. Both my mother and my husband scored me in the low anxiety category, while I scored myself in the mild category. While I have never been overly anxious about communicating with others or speaking in public, I still do get nervous. The score from my husband meant a lot to me. He has seen me present to our staff at school multiple times. Each time I was feeling a little nervous and unsure of myself. I am glad to know that even though I was having those feelings inside, on the outside I appeared confident and comfortable.
The results from the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale surprised me the most. My score for myself was a sixty nine, which put me in the significant aggressive category. I was very taken aback by this! I have never considered myself to be verbally aggressive in any way and try to avoid hurting the feelings of others at all costs. If anything, my feelings end up getting hurt because I do not stand up for myself enough. While a score of sixty nine puts me at the lowest end of the moderate category that is still where I fell. My mother gave me a score of sixty five and my husband gave me a score of sixty seven, which put me in the moderate aggressive category. That is where I view myself. It intrigues me that how I view myself and how I scored myself varied. I always thought of myself as a fair and respectful communicator. After this experience I will be much more aware and careful with my words and tone of voice during conversations that could get heated.
Interesting! I had the opposite experience with the verbal aggressiveness scale. I perceived myself to be lower than others (although still in the same moderate category). Perhaps your awareness and desire to be people-oriented keeps your actual behavior "in check" more than you're perceiving it to be. I also had the same experience as you with regarding to communication anxiety. Apparently we do a better job of "playing it off" when we're feeling nervous! This was indeed an interesting activity on perceptions! Thanks for sharing.
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I have seen quite a few of our classmates that were also in the people-oriented category. It really makes me wonder how much of that has a direct connection to our professions. Very interesting! I'll bet that it was great relief to see that your husband viewed you as a very confident public speaker. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI too shared your results for the Listening and Anxiety evaluations, as I was considered people-oriented and in a moderate/mild profile for communication anxiety. I was actually surprised I didn't score higher for communication anxiety based on my own feelings and perception of myself. I also noticed some other classmates in the same categories. I actually found what Shawn responded to your post with very interesting, that maybe our results in one area mask the unexpected results in another area.
ReplyDeleteI actually wanted to mention too that your professional work with your husband sounds just like my husband and I. We work together in an early childhood private school that has been owned and run by his family since the 70's, so I can definitely relate to a husband knowing you on both a personal and professional level. Thanks for your post!
We share the people orientated section of the assessment and I too was surprised to read how the assessment's view is that I am aggressive and can be hurtful to others. Although I definately do not agree with this , it will make me more mindful of how I communicate with others and will be looking for any sign of this type of behavior. It was enlightening to say the least.
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