An incident with prejudice I personally encountered is after I married my husband (who is black) and we were still working at the same school, a black co-worker of ours said to me, “You are another white woman taking our good black men away.” I did not know how to respond, I was just a woman who married the man I loved, our skin color should not matter. She continued to be rude to me throughout the rest of my time working there, all because of who I married.
This incident is still something that hurts me to this day. I had never been anything but nice to this woman and had worked with her for years and we were always very friendly. My husband and I were always very professional at work. In fact, we dated for an entire year while we were working together and no one knew. Her comment made me feel like I thought I was better than her because of who I married, which is the furthest from the truth.
I am not sure what would have to change for this incident to be an opportunity for greater equity. I suppose if my co-worker had more of an open mind and viewed us as equals, it would have helped. I also feel that maybe I could have responded in a way that provoked some healthy conversation about her feelings.
It is amazing how that woman's microaggression towards you marrying someone of another race was so hurtful. It makes me so sad to hear comments like that. My son's biological father is Indian, so my son is much darker skinned than I and his adoptive father are. I hear comments like "he must be adopted" all the time. Skin tone is just a color! It is our personal identity and culture that makes us diverse, unique and beautiful. Thanks for sharing, and I am sorry that woman's comment has affected so.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm shocked that this woman reacted to your relationship in this way. People don't cease to amaze me. I think you are a bigger person than she is, especially because you think you could have provoked healthy conversation about her feelings. If I were in your shoes I don't think I would have been calm enough to have a conversation about her ignorance.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this occurrence still bothers you. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Caitlyn