Who I am as a Communicator

I always try to be conscious of what I am saying and how it comes across especially during conversations with colleagues and parents of my students. During the past few weeks this course has reminded me of the importance of successful and meaningful communication in our daily lives and ways I can improve my communication skills.



I enjoyed taking the communication assessments this week and having people who are close to me evaluate me also. The two people I chose were my mother and husband. My mother really only knows me as a communicator in my personal life. My husband knows me as a communicator in both my personal and professional life. We worked at the same school for three years. He knew me professionally for a year before he knew me personally.

The results from the Listening Styles Profile were not a surprise to me at all. All three of us scored me in Group 1: People – Oriented. I have always been drawn to people and very social. My mother has seen that from the time I was little until now. My husband has seen me interact with people professionally and casually and said he knew from the first day he saw me at school that I was a people person.



The results from the Communication Anxiety Inventory were a little surprising. Both my mother and my husband scored me in the low anxiety category, while I scored myself in the mild category. While I have never been overly anxious about communicating with others or speaking in public, I still do get nervous. The score from my husband meant a lot to me. He has seen me present to our staff at school multiple times. Each time I was feeling a little nervous and unsure of myself. I am glad to know that even though I was having those feelings inside, on the outside I appeared confident and comfortable.

The results from the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale surprised me the most. My score for myself was a sixty nine, which put me in the significant aggressive category. I was very taken aback by this! I have never considered myself to be verbally aggressive in any way and try to avoid hurting the feelings of others at all costs. If anything, my feelings end up getting hurt because I do not stand up for myself enough. While a score of sixty nine puts me at the lowest end of the moderate category that is still where I fell. My mother gave me a score of sixty five and my husband gave me a score of sixty seven, which put me in the moderate aggressive category. That is where I view myself. It intrigues me that how I view myself and how I scored myself varied. I always thought of myself as a fair and respectful communicator. After this experience I will be much more aware and careful with my words and tone of voice during conversations that could get heated.  

Communication Differences

When I stop and think about communication and how I communicate with various people and groups of people in my life, I realize that I communicate differently based on the situation and who I am speaking to. I speak to my 2 year old son differently than I would speak to my administrator at school.  I speak to my close colleagues at school differently than I would speak to the parents of my students.  Both groups are in the same setting, but how I communicate with them would be a little different.  I would use more of an informal tone, with close friends and ensure I am speaking professionally with the parents of my students.  I have seen many teachers that speak the same way with their friends than they would with parents.  I also feel the level of listening would be different.  Of course I try to truly listen to everyone who speaks to me, but the level of listening in a professional setting is especially important.  When listening to the parents of my students, I need to ensure that I am truly listening to what they are saying and understanding how they are feeling.

This assignment has made me take a step back this week and truly look at how I communicate based on who I am speaking to.  It also made me aware of people around me and how they communicate.  In the front office of my school this week I observed teachers, office staff, students, and administrators communicating with each other.  I watched a group of students talking to the principal, once he walked away and they began speaking to their peers, their communication became much more informal and playful.    I enjoyed the assignment this week and became more aware of how we communicate in various settings. 

TV Show Communication

Such a fun assignment this week!  The show I chose to watch was Happily Divorced.  The episode began with Fran Drescher and a man kissing on the couch.  Another man walks in to ask her a question.  Fran’s body language and facial expressions show that she is annoyed with the man.  She then uses her hand to motion for him to leave the room.  With the sound off it was not obvious to me who the man was or why he was in the house.  The couple continues to kiss but stops suddenly and Fran goes to answer the door.  An older couple walks in and right away I can tell they are her parents.  This is obvious because as the woman walks in she licks her finger and wipes something off of Fran’s face.  Only a mother would do that.  Watching the same scene with the sound on I quickly discover that the man who interrupted the kissing is her ex husband who is gay, something I could not tell from his body language earlier.  

Another scene from the show took place in a bar with Fran’s ex husband and friend.  Watching with the sound off, I could tell they were drinking because they each had a martini glass in their hand.  I could also tell from their body language that they were both sad about something.  Their facial expressions were very sad and they both hung their heads down.  I was surprised when watching it with the sound on that they were drunk.  Nothing in their body language gave it away.  Only when I heard their slurred speech did I know. 

If this had been a show I had watched before I may have picked up on the husband’s body language indicating that he was gay.  I also would have known that he still lives with Fran.  

I loved this assignment and may do the same activity on my own just for fun. :)

Competent Communication

When I think of someone who demonstrates competent communication, I think of my husband, James.  James and I met when we were teaching at the same school.  His communication and listening skills were one of the many things that attracted me to him.  First of all, he is an amazing listener, he remembers the littlest things from conversations.  He is also very good at relating to every person he meets, even if he has very little in common with them.  He is fantastic with all of the families at our school and always finds ways to make them feel valued and welcomed.  He maintains good eye contact and is always very respectful and courteous, even if he does not agree with the person.

My husband and I at our wedding shower.

I would like to model my listening skills after my husband.  I do listen to people as they speak to me, but I  have a habit of getting lost in my own thoughts at times and missing some of the conversation.  I am not trying to ignore them or be disrespectful in any way, I just get distracted. I am so grateful to be married to such a wonderful man and am hoping to gain his listening skills. 

Professional Hope and Goals

I hope that I continue to be open minded and free from biases when I am working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds.  I also hope that I am sensitive to the individual needs of each family and do what I can to help them.

A goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to better educate their professionals in these areas.  If all adults who worked with children and families were aware of and sensitive to diversity, equity, and social justice issues, it would help families and children become more comfortable in the school setting. 

I would like to say thank you to all of my classmates for a wonderful eight weeks.  I have learned so much from the discussion posts and blogs.  The topics and issues that were covered in this course have taught me lessons that I will carry with me forever.  Thank you to everyone for giving me new perspectives and ideas.  

Welcoming Families From Around the World

I teach kindergarten and am getting a student from Germany in my room next week.  I will do whatever I can to prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards the child and her family. 

1. I will research Germany to find out how their schools are different and similar to ours, what the family structure is like, what traditions, holidays, customs, and food are significant. 
2. I will try to learn a few key words in German, example: bathroom, backpack, food, water; in order to help my new student adjust and become comfortable in her new learning environment.
3. I will speak to the students in my class and teach them a little about Germany.  I will also show them ways to communicate with her even if she does not understand English. 
4. I will try to find some children’s book in German to have them in the classroom to help her feel at home.
5. I will speak to the family (if they do not speak English, I will have a questionnaire in their native language) and ask them about their child, her past school experience, interests, and any other information they can give me.  I will also ask them to share what their hopes and dreams are for their daughter and what they hope she will get out of her school experience. 

I hope by taking these steps it will make the transition for the little girl and her family a little easier.  I hope it will show the parents that I want them to be an important part of their child’s education and that school is a warm, inviting place where parents and educators work together for the benefit of the child. 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

An incident with prejudice I personally encountered is after I married my husband (who is black) and we were still working at the same school, a black co-worker of ours said to me, “You are another white woman taking our good black men away.”  I did not know how to respond, I was just a woman who married the man I loved, our skin color should not matter.  She continued to be rude to me throughout the rest of my time working there, all because of who I married. 

This incident is still something that hurts me to this day.  I had never been anything but nice to this woman and had worked with her for years and we were always very friendly.  My husband and I were always very professional at work.  In fact, we dated for an entire year while we were working together and no one knew.  Her comment made me feel like I thought I was better than her because of who I married, which is the furthest from the truth. 

I am not sure what would have to change for this incident to be an opportunity for greater equity.  I suppose if my co-worker had more of an open mind and viewed us as equals, it would have helped.  I also feel that maybe I could have responded in a way that provoked some healthy conversation about her feelings.