Who I am as a Communicator

I always try to be conscious of what I am saying and how it comes across especially during conversations with colleagues and parents of my students. During the past few weeks this course has reminded me of the importance of successful and meaningful communication in our daily lives and ways I can improve my communication skills.



I enjoyed taking the communication assessments this week and having people who are close to me evaluate me also. The two people I chose were my mother and husband. My mother really only knows me as a communicator in my personal life. My husband knows me as a communicator in both my personal and professional life. We worked at the same school for three years. He knew me professionally for a year before he knew me personally.

The results from the Listening Styles Profile were not a surprise to me at all. All three of us scored me in Group 1: People – Oriented. I have always been drawn to people and very social. My mother has seen that from the time I was little until now. My husband has seen me interact with people professionally and casually and said he knew from the first day he saw me at school that I was a people person.



The results from the Communication Anxiety Inventory were a little surprising. Both my mother and my husband scored me in the low anxiety category, while I scored myself in the mild category. While I have never been overly anxious about communicating with others or speaking in public, I still do get nervous. The score from my husband meant a lot to me. He has seen me present to our staff at school multiple times. Each time I was feeling a little nervous and unsure of myself. I am glad to know that even though I was having those feelings inside, on the outside I appeared confident and comfortable.

The results from the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale surprised me the most. My score for myself was a sixty nine, which put me in the significant aggressive category. I was very taken aback by this! I have never considered myself to be verbally aggressive in any way and try to avoid hurting the feelings of others at all costs. If anything, my feelings end up getting hurt because I do not stand up for myself enough. While a score of sixty nine puts me at the lowest end of the moderate category that is still where I fell. My mother gave me a score of sixty five and my husband gave me a score of sixty seven, which put me in the moderate aggressive category. That is where I view myself. It intrigues me that how I view myself and how I scored myself varied. I always thought of myself as a fair and respectful communicator. After this experience I will be much more aware and careful with my words and tone of voice during conversations that could get heated.  

Communication Differences

When I stop and think about communication and how I communicate with various people and groups of people in my life, I realize that I communicate differently based on the situation and who I am speaking to. I speak to my 2 year old son differently than I would speak to my administrator at school.  I speak to my close colleagues at school differently than I would speak to the parents of my students.  Both groups are in the same setting, but how I communicate with them would be a little different.  I would use more of an informal tone, with close friends and ensure I am speaking professionally with the parents of my students.  I have seen many teachers that speak the same way with their friends than they would with parents.  I also feel the level of listening would be different.  Of course I try to truly listen to everyone who speaks to me, but the level of listening in a professional setting is especially important.  When listening to the parents of my students, I need to ensure that I am truly listening to what they are saying and understanding how they are feeling.

This assignment has made me take a step back this week and truly look at how I communicate based on who I am speaking to.  It also made me aware of people around me and how they communicate.  In the front office of my school this week I observed teachers, office staff, students, and administrators communicating with each other.  I watched a group of students talking to the principal, once he walked away and they began speaking to their peers, their communication became much more informal and playful.    I enjoyed the assignment this week and became more aware of how we communicate in various settings. 

TV Show Communication

Such a fun assignment this week!  The show I chose to watch was Happily Divorced.  The episode began with Fran Drescher and a man kissing on the couch.  Another man walks in to ask her a question.  Fran’s body language and facial expressions show that she is annoyed with the man.  She then uses her hand to motion for him to leave the room.  With the sound off it was not obvious to me who the man was or why he was in the house.  The couple continues to kiss but stops suddenly and Fran goes to answer the door.  An older couple walks in and right away I can tell they are her parents.  This is obvious because as the woman walks in she licks her finger and wipes something off of Fran’s face.  Only a mother would do that.  Watching the same scene with the sound on I quickly discover that the man who interrupted the kissing is her ex husband who is gay, something I could not tell from his body language earlier.  

Another scene from the show took place in a bar with Fran’s ex husband and friend.  Watching with the sound off, I could tell they were drinking because they each had a martini glass in their hand.  I could also tell from their body language that they were both sad about something.  Their facial expressions were very sad and they both hung their heads down.  I was surprised when watching it with the sound on that they were drunk.  Nothing in their body language gave it away.  Only when I heard their slurred speech did I know. 

If this had been a show I had watched before I may have picked up on the husband’s body language indicating that he was gay.  I also would have known that he still lives with Fran.  

I loved this assignment and may do the same activity on my own just for fun. :)

Competent Communication

When I think of someone who demonstrates competent communication, I think of my husband, James.  James and I met when we were teaching at the same school.  His communication and listening skills were one of the many things that attracted me to him.  First of all, he is an amazing listener, he remembers the littlest things from conversations.  He is also very good at relating to every person he meets, even if he has very little in common with them.  He is fantastic with all of the families at our school and always finds ways to make them feel valued and welcomed.  He maintains good eye contact and is always very respectful and courteous, even if he does not agree with the person.

My husband and I at our wedding shower.

I would like to model my listening skills after my husband.  I do listen to people as they speak to me, but I  have a habit of getting lost in my own thoughts at times and missing some of the conversation.  I am not trying to ignore them or be disrespectful in any way, I just get distracted. I am so grateful to be married to such a wonderful man and am hoping to gain his listening skills.